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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?